


Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon with The God of Mischief

by GuardianDragon98



Series: How to Train Your Dragon... with the God of Mischief [3]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Continuation of my "Loki in Berk" series, Gen, Gobber's tall tales, Loki does at first then stops believing when the tall tales grow taller, Loki providing us with modern commentary just for funsies, Mentions of Thor, Modern ideas mentioned in Viking times, The teens don't believe him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29016537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianDragon98/pseuds/GuardianDragon98
Summary: When Gobber's house is set on fire by the mythical Boneknapper, the eight Dragon Riders of Berk find themselves joining the blacksmith on another wild adventure in search of the elusive dragon. One that involves Gobber's, frankly, ridiculously tall tales. New and improved version of my Fiersome Chronicles Chapter 21, with Erland/Loki's witty commentary.
Series: How to Train Your Dragon... with the God of Mischief [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815409
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon with The God of Mischief

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, HTTYD fans. I have returned!
> 
> It’s been a while since I’ve written anything for this fandom. And, while I’ll most likely be busy with job hunting and working (once I get a job), I will do my best to adapt the HTTYD series with our favorite trickster over time. I already have an idea of how Erland/Loki’s overall arc will go. I just need to write it.
> 
> In the meantime, time to start the short film adaptations.
> 
> NOTE: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM HTTYD OR MARVEL.

**Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon with The God of Mischief**

Night had fallen on the island of Berk. While the Vikings prepared to turn in, the wild dragons were curling up in their nests in the woods. As for the dragons who had bonded with the Berkians, they were heating up their rock slab beds. That was the case for Stryka, the one-eyed dragon sister of Zenna Fiersome. Stryka warbled to her Rider, who was slowly sipping a mug of warm yak milk and honey.

“In a minute, girl. Just gotta finish this nightcap,” Zenna replied, a milk mustache on her lips.

At the Haddock residence, Hiccup was finishing one last sketch of Toothless. The Night Fury was already fast asleep, a low rumbling coming from his throat as he let out the dragon equivalent of snoring.

Meanwhile, at Gothi’s house perched high above the village, Embla was watching Loki carve another mark into his bedpost.

**_“You’ve been here for a while now…”_** Embla mused, looking at all the notches that marked the days her Rider, the former God of Mischief, had been mortal.

“Three months going on four,” Loki grunted as he pulled his dagger out of the wood. “At this rate, I’ll be marking the walls next.”

**_“Or you could just stop. Berk is your home now, is it not?”_** Embla purred, wrapping one of her head tendrils around Loki’s arm.

“It is. But…” Loki brushed his fingers against the first few notches he had made. Berk no longer felt like the prison he once thought it was, back when he was still coming to grips with the fact that he was no longer a god but a mortal, thanks to his friendship with Hiccup and Zenna. Add the bonds the three of them had forged with their dragons, and the speck of hardy land in the frigid North became his new home.

“It just feels weird to stop counting the days, you know?” Loki shrugged as he settled into his bed. Embla let out a soft hum and prepared to take flight so she could sleep in her forest cave.

All of a sudden, the fierce bellow of a horn being blown rang through the night.

In three separate households, three dragons jumped to alertness and their Riders saddled up. Once up in the air, The Three Weirdos headed for the cause of the fire alarm being sounded. To their shock, Gobber’s house was on…

“FIRE!” Hoark shouted, alerting Vikings in nearby houses to evacuate. A bucket chain was quickly established with the villagers passing buckets of water to each other to douse the flames.

“Get the buckets! To the ocean! Hurry up, lads! Fill these up!” Edgar, Zenna’s father, ordered some men while Henna helped some families living near Gobber’s house get outside.

“What happened?” One Viking mother asked as she tried to soothe her baby, who had been startled awake by the commotion.

“I have no idea, Bertha. But I’m sure we’ll find answers once this fire’s been put out,” Henna reassured her, looking up at her daughter and her friends working to put out the fire on the roof.

Chief Stoick the Vast oversaw the entire operation. “The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the South!” he commanded.

“I’m on it!” Astrid Hofferson shouted as she flung her water at the blaze. Once that was done, she and her Deadly Nadder, Stormfly, flew off to get reinforcements.

“Gronckles, aim for the roof!”

“Yeah!” Fishlegs Ingerman whooped as Meatlug and her fellow Gronckles flew by, tossing carts of water onto the burning roof.

“If I had more of my magic, this wouldn’t take too long to put out…” Loki, now assuming his alternate identity as Erland, said to Embla over the crackle of the flames.

**_‘At least this shield of yours is keeping my hide from being scorched,’_** Embla told him as a bright golden shield materialized over her vulnerable belly. Doing a barrel roll with Erland hanging on tight, she tipped a whole cart filled with water onto the roof.

They met up with Hiccup, Toothless, Zenna, and Stryka high above the roof. “Any idea how this happened?” Erland asked the two teens.

“Two guesses. One, Gobber went a little overboard with blacksmithing at home. Two, Ruffnut and Tuffnut got their dragon to pull off another explosive prank,” Zenna guessed.

“I told those two that not every act of mischief has to involve blowing things up…” Erland sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Let’s head down. Maybe Dad knows where Gobber is,” Hiccup suggested, prompting Toothless, Stryka, and Embla to begin their descent.

“Good work. Just a few hot spots left,” Stoick said just as their dragons landed. Dismounting, the three best friends went over to the chief.

“Where’s Gobber? Is he still inside?” Hiccup asked, worried for his blacksmithing mentor.

“How did this fire even start?” Zenna wondered out loud.

“No, we can’t find him. And we don’t know how,” Stoick replied before a voice they all feared would never be heard again said, _“I’m right here!”_

“Oh, hey, he lives,” Erland announced, seeing Gobber pushing a cart towards the gathered crowd.

“That beast will pay for this!” Gobber the Belch fumed as he stopped his cart.

Hiccup and Zenna both sighed in relief. Stoick frowned at his best friend. “Gobber, what happened?” he asked.

“What’s it look like? A dragon set my home on fire!” Gobber exclaimed, waving his hooked hand at his burnt house.

All of the villagers murmured in disbelief, looking at each other in confusion. “What?” Ruffnut asked, exchanging baffled looks with her twin brother, Tuffnut.

Erland folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at the other Riders’ dragons.

**_“Don’t look at me. I was sleeping,”_** Hookfang, Snotlout’s Monstrous Nightmare, growled.

**_“Wasn’t me either, Serpent Tongue!”_** Meatlug rumbled.

**_“Nor I,”_** Stormfly squawked.

Barf and Belch shook their heads when Erland looked at them.

**_“Loki, it wasn’t us,”_** Barf told the dragon whisperer.

**_“We were framed!”_** Belch hissed in agreement.

**_‘Well if none of you did it, then who did?’_** Erland communicated to the dragons present in the crowd, getting responses that all said ‘no’ while Gobber continued to rant.

“You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones!” the blacksmith shouted, waving his hook hand at the heavens.

Hiccup looked at his father, confused. “Dad, what’s he talking about? Our dragons don’t do that anymore,” he stated.

“And the only times they’ve done it were by accident,” Zenna pointed out. Just last week, a Gronckle had set a farmer’s fields on fire when it saw its master struggling to light an outdoor cooking fire. And the week before that, a Nadder was startled awake by a family’s pet rooster and let out a fireball in surprise that torched the family’s roof. Luckily, both the family and their pet rooster survived.

But a dragon attacking somebody’s home on purpose was an incident that had only occurred during the time of the war. With the war over, the dragons saw no reason to attack the village of Berk anymore. Until tonight, apparently, that is.

Stoick sighed, having a good idea of what Gobber was thinking. “He doesn’t mean one of yours,” he said before turning to the one-armed, one-legged blacksmith. “Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a…” he managed to say before Gobber finished his sentence with, _“Boneknapper?!”_

At that, the majority of the village population groaned.

Hiccup, Zenna, Erland, Astrid, FIshlegs, Snotlout, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut all looked at each other, confused. Something told them that whatever Gobber was going on about had happened way back in the day before they were even born or (in Zenna and Erland’s case) before they lived on Berk.

“A what-knapper?” Tuffnut asked and Gobber answered his question with gusto. “A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton,” he answered.

Fishlegs, the team’s walking Dragon Encyclopedia, couldn’t contain his excitement. “Oh, oh, oh! The Dragon Manual says that the Boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. It’s _awesome_!” he explained.

“Come on, it’s just a myth. It doesn’t even exist,” Stoick said in disbelief.

“Ah, but if the Dragon Manual has a record of it then it’s possible that it _does_.” Erland held up a finger. “Why would Bork the Bold write about the Boneknapper in his classification of dragon species if it was merely a myth?” he questioned.

“Thank you! See? This lad gets it!” Gobber gave Gothi’s ward a grateful smile before turning back to Stoick. “I’m telling you, it’s real! I’ve been running from him my whole life. He’s the one who started the fire,” he insisted.

At that moment, a Viking came out of Gobber’s burnt house with a fire poker in his hand. Dangling from the poker was a pair of scorched underpants.

“Stoick, we found Gobber’s underpants hanging by the stove. They must’ve started the fire,” the Viking reported.

At that, the villagers cracked up. There was their answer! Just a mishap involving Gobber’s underpants and an unattended stove.

“Still think it’s the Boneknapper, or just your underpants?” Stoick asked, chuckling.

“I don’t think! I _know_!” Gobber grimaced. “Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil,” he muttered darkly.

“Gobber, it’s late, and we’re too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest,” Stoick advised him as he and the rest of the villagers began to leave.

“Since your house will need some repairs, Gob, you can stay with us,” Henna offered kindly.

“Zenna, you wouldn’t mind now, will you?” Edgar asked his daughter.

“Yeah, Stryka and I are okay with that.” Zenna shrugged, Stryka bobbing her head up and down. _‘As long as we wear earplugs tonight, Stryka and I can sleep through Gobber’s snoring,’_ she mentally added.

But Gobber declined the Fiersome family’s offer. “You rest. I’m putting an end to this,” he huffed, storming off. His pet sheep, Phil, was grazing nearby and he called him. “Come on, Phil. Let’s go. We don’t need their help anyway,” Gobber said as they made their way down to the harbor.

Watching Gobber go, Hiccup knew that chances were that the Boneknapper wasn’t real. And, in the rare chance that it _was_ … Gobber was going to need help in facing it. “We can’t let him go by himself,” he murmured before looking at Erland and Zenna.

“A chance to find a new dragon? Count me in,” Zenna said, grinning.

“If the Dragon Manual has a Boneknapper entry, then it’s got to be real. And Norns know Gobber’s not going to last long against that dragon without assistance,” Erland said.

Knowing that his two best human friends were in agreement with him, Hiccup turned to the rest of the Dragon Riders. “All right, Vikings! Grab your shields,” he instructed.

And while Astrid, Fishlegs, and the Twins were excited, Snotlout was far from stoked. “There’s no way I’m getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon,” he said.

* * *

A few hours later, as the sun rose into a cloudy silver sky, Snotlout found himself and the other riders rowing a longship across the choppy waters in search of the Boneknapper.

“You were saying, Snotlout?” Zenna asked nonchalantly from behind.

Behind Astrid, Erland wiped the sweat off his brow. “Why did we leave the dragons behind? Wouldn’t having them with us make finding the Boneknapper easier?” he questioned Gobber as he rowed.

“No. Too risky. If we brought all ‘yer dragons, the Boneknapper will get way too violent. The less dragons around, the better.” Gobber stood at the bow of the ship. “Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You’re not even trying! Stroke!” he barked, the teens grunting with effort as they rowed.

Hiccup tried to find the bright side of things. “How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh?” he asked.

“Yeah. Nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed,” Snotlout said sarcastically.

“I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper.” Gobber sniffled, beaming at the teens. “True Vikings, you are,” he said, wiping away a tear.

“Gobber, are we there yet?” Ruffnut complained, her back aching from rowing.

“Oh, you’ll know we’re close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon’s roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones!” Fishlegs revealed.

Zenna shuddered while Erland hummed curiously. Hiccup prayed to the Norns that, if Fishlegs was right, he and his friends would live to tell the tale.

“Not so, Fishlegs. The Boneknapper has no roar at all. That’s why he’s terrifying. He’s a _silent_ killer,” Gobber countered.

Ruffnut looked around warily. “Wait, so if we don’t hear anything… we’re dead?” she asked, the entire gang going quiet.

For a while, all was silent. And only Tuffnut broke the silence a few moments later to whisper, “I don’t hear anything.”

Suddenly… _Baaa!_

The riders all screamed, startled, then looked behind them, expecting to see the Boneknapper ready to rip them all to pieces. But it was just Phil riding at the back of the longship.

“Good one, Phil!” Gobber laughed while the team recovered from their shock.

“That darn sheep…” Snotlout glared at Phil. “I swear to Thor… that sheep’s got to be Loki in disguise,” he muttered.

Ruffnut and Tuffnut immediately gasped. Meanwhile, Erland looked at Snotlout, offended beyond words. “Excuse me?” he gasped, a hand on his chest.

“Blasphemy! The great Loki wouldn’t transform into something as puny as a lowborn sheep!” Tuffnut declared.

“Loki, the trickiest of all the tricksters, would prefer to shapeshift into regal creatures reflecting his devious nature,” Ruffnut said emphatically.

Hiccup and Zenna couldn’t help but let a few chuckles escape their lips as their mischievous older friend glared at the Jorgenson. Oh, if only they knew!

Snotlout looked bewildered as the Twins started citing instances where Loki shapeshifted in the legends while Erland glared at him, as if _he’d_ been the one he had just insulted.

Erland let out a soft, “Humph!” before looking away from Snotlout. Phil bleated and hid behind a small chest, feeling the former god’s angry stare.

_‘If I were to shapeshift into a sheep, I’d be a ram with finer wool and curlier horns…’_ Erland thought to himself.

Ignoring the Twins reprimanding Snotlout, Gobber decided it was time to tell his tale. “Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded Boneknapper?” he asked with a gleam in his eye.

“I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature… So, naturally, I went and looked for a glacier to do my business.”

While Hiccup, Astrid, and Zenna had blank expressions and Fishlegs appeared to hang on to every word, Erland let his mind wander. _‘I wonder what Gobber’s tale would look like as an animated short film…’_ he mused.

“I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest… I had to have it.”

_‘Maybe 3-D? CGI? Nah, maybe traditional 2-D animation would be a better medium to tell this story…’_ Erland pondered while Gobber went on, saying, “I reached in and pulled out the chest… it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw.”

“But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face!”

_‘Hehe… that’d be a funny scene to animate…’_ Erland thought, smiling a little.

“And there it was… I never even heard it coming… _The Boneknapper_!” Gobber recounted, gazing intently at the group. “It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings! The treasure chest slipped out of my hands and fell into the icy depths. I had to act fast. I reached into the water… Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face _again_!”

Zenna heard Erland snickering. Looking over her shoulder, she saw her friend covering his mouth with mirth shining in his eyes. “Oh, that’s a running gag right there…” she heard him chuckle and furrowed her brows.

A… running gag? What does that even mean?

As for Gobber’s story, the frozen Viking being alive part was already beginning to seem less likely to her medically-trained mind. Glancing around at the others, she saw that they were also having a hard time believing it.

Gobber continued his tale, telling them of how the Boneknapper snatched him in its claws the moment he got the treasure and began carrying him towards his doom. “The Boneknapper wanted that treasure… but I wanted it more!” he declared, waving his hook hand about as he recalled how he bravely freed himself from the dragon’s grasp, crashed into the glacier, and came out of a hole on the other side to land smack-dab back on his spot on the family longship.

“You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?” Snotlout asked, skeptical.

“Yeah. _Twice_!” Gobber answered.

Everyone glanced at Hiccup, who shrugged and said, “Hey, it could happen…” though he sounded a little unsure.

“What do you mean “it could happen”? It did! But I outsmarted the silent beast,” Gobber retorted.

“Wouldn’t those Vikings be dead if they’d been frozen in that glacier for a long time?” Zenna raised an eyebrow.

“I’ve heard somewhere that it’s possible for one’s body to be preserved in ice and that the vital parts of the body can still function even while in that state. Much like how some animals hibernate during winter,” Erland piped up. As Loki, he’d taken a few trips to Midgard in the modern era and had watched some sci-fi films that involved space explorers being put into stasis over long interstellar journeys.

Fishlegs then raised his hand. Something needed to be said. “Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but Boneknappers are _not_ silent,” he pointed out.

“Fishlegs, I know what I didn’t hear,” Gobber insisted. “But, I could feel it…”

About the same time Gobber replied to him, Fishlegs began to notice that the water around them looked a little different. Zenna and Erland were quick to follow his observation.

“Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be…?” Fishlegs gulped, noticing the rocks jutting out from under the water.

“I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything…” Gobber carried on, too wrapped up in his stories to notice that the longship was sailing way too close to one of the rocks.

“Land. We’re nearing land. Gobber, I think now would be a good time to row or drop anchor…” Zenna called out, gripping her oar tightly.

“I really think we’re gonna hit these…” Fishlegs said frantically, his and Zenna’s advice falling on deaf ears.

“I could taste the oncoming doom!” Gobber declared at the same time Erland yelled, “ _Everyone, brace for impact!_ ”

The longship crashed stern-first into a cluster of jagged rocks, causing the chests the teens were sitting on to lurch forward. The eight Dragon Riders yelped as the boat shuddered violently for a few seconds before it went still.

“Whoa…” Tuffnut mumbled, his helmet slightly askew.

“Um, I’m tasting rocks,” said Astrid, frowning at the huge hole in the ship’s stern.

“We tried to warn you…” Zenna sighed.

Only Gobber was unfazed. “Ah, we’re here. There it is. The Boneknapper’s island!” he proclaimed, pointing to a small islet with a rocky beach.

“Which we won’t get to if we don’t start swimming for our lives! We are taking water fast!” Erland alerted the group as water began to flood into the longship.

Quickly, the crew of nine Vikings and one sheep jumped into the water and started paddling towards the shore. Once they were safe on dry land and had a moment to catch their breath, they watched as their only means of getting home sank into the gray ocean depths.

On top of that, the islet they were now on was _littered_ with _bones_.

“Okay… this is beginning to make the Boneknapper look a _little_ more real…” Zenna mumbled, taking care not to step on the larger bones.

“Ugh! Now we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, and no one even knows where we are!” Ruffnut groaned as she and the others looked around.

“Of all the days we didn’t let our dragons join us on this adventure…” Erland sighed as he fixed his gaze on the horizon. Squinting into the fog, he imagined Embla back on Berk. Maybe he could transmit his thoughts from across the ocean and Embla will be able to hear and come to their aid…

“Except for the Boneknapper. Legend says…”

“Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking!”

“Okay, just hold on one darn second…”

Erland sighed and got between Fishlegs and Snotlout, clapping his hands over their mouths. “If you two don’t mind, I would like some peace and quiet so that I can call out to Embla and our dragons so they can fly here and take us home!” he snapped, his jade eyes narrowed dangerously at the duo.

Tuffnut snickered at the spectacle while Ruffnut swooned, finding Erland even more attractive. Once Snotlout and Fishlegs shut up, Erland went back to gazing out into the horizon.

**_‘Embla, we need you and the others. We’re shipwrecked on an island and there’s a possibility that Gobber’s Boneknapper might be real and it might be here as well. Please save us!’_** he chanted in his mind over and over.

After about ten minutes of relaying this and similar calls for help, Erland sighed and threw his hands up in the air. “Nothing. I’m too far away from them,” he announced.

“Great… How are we gonna get home?” Astrid wondered out loud.

“No need to panic, kids. I’ve been shipwrecked many times,” Gobber told them cheerfully.

“Oh, well that’s… comforting,” Hiccup deadpanned.

“That doesn’t help us, Gobber…” Zenna added. Gobber chuckled and got comfy on a rock, grabbing a rock to sharpen his hook.

“You never forget your first shipwreck…”

_‘Cue more 2-D traditional animation,’_ Erland thought as he leaned against a ten-foot-tall rib bone that was sticking out of the ground like a boney flag post.

“I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island. It’s no wonder the Boneknapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure. There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks! I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark-infested waters!”

Erland chuckled. He could imagine a younger Gobber using the sharks as stepping stones to hop across the ocean. Maybe he even punched a few sharks that jumped out of the water, shouting, “Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty!” before using his broom to brush one shark’s teeth, saying, “Someone forgot to brush!”

Hiccup noticed him chuckling and lightly nudged him. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, worried.

“I’m fine. Just imagining Gobber’s story playing out like a short film,” Erland replied, smiling in amusement. At Hiccup’s confused expression, he chuckled. “I’ll explain later,” he said, just as Gobber reached the climax of his story.

“I didn’t think I was going to make it. But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth… a giant hammerhead whale!”

“Okay. Hammerhead sharks, I can believe. But I don’t think a hammerhead _whale_ is real,” Zenna remarked, holding her chin.

While the others shared Zenna’s skepticism, Fishlegs was amazed. “Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper?” he asked.

“Almost, but he got away. Years, later the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle,” Gobber continued.

“You’ve been to a jungle?” Erland asked him, surprised.

“I’m a seasoned traveler, Erland.” Gobber waved his hand at him. Astrid and Zenna both inwardly groaned as the blacksmith launched into another crazy tale.

“All I had was my trusty egg beater. I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the Boneknapper was right behind!”

“You have egg beaters here?” Erland whispered to Zenna, confused.

“Yeah. My Mom has one… Wait, out of all the details you just heard, it’s Gobber having an _egg beater_ that’s got you confused?” Zenna blinked her one violet eye at him.

“I thought it was a modern invention…” Erland mumbled while also thinking, _‘I wonder if there are any more modern ideas that were actually invented or conceptualized during this time period. Hmmm… maybe I should start making a list…’_

Gobber continued his story. “I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater. Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak!”

At that, Erland frowned. “Okay… _Now_ I’m questioning the veracity of all of this,” he admitted.

“Oh, thank Norns…” Zenna sighed.

Tuffnut shook his head. “Okay, wait a minute. Now you’re saying a giant hammerhead yak…” he raised his arms up slightly, mimicking a creature rising up. “…leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the Boneknapper?” he asked, the rest of the gang giving Gobber suspicious looks.

“You would’ve thought so, wouldn’t you? But the dragon got away _again_! I knew that boney scoundrel would keep coming after me…” Gobber told them.

_‘Cut to more 2-D animation…’_ Erland thought, his mind alive with the cartoon-style scene as Gobber told his story.

“So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast…”

_‘Why do I get the feeling he’d be that guy playing the guitar to amp himself up while waiting for his old foe to arrive?’_ Erland mused before Gobber’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

“And when he was ready… he charged! And then I ran like the wind! But the traps failed! The Boneknapper cornered me to the edge of a cliff. Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do…” Gobber recounted.

“Yell for help?” Zenna asked, eliciting chuckles from her friends and a sheepish Gobber going red in the face.

“The Gods must’ve heard my prayers. All of a sudden, this towering figure appeared in the sky… It was _Thor_!”

Erland shook his head. “Nope. Nuh-uh. There’s no way in Valhalla or Helheim that actually happened…” he muttered. He knew all about Thor’s “glorious exploits,” what with the golden oaf loudly telling his stories in the halls of Asgard while feasting and all. Not once did Thor ever mention saving a one-armed Viking from a dragon wearing bone armor.

“He tossed a mighty thunderbolt that struck the ground underneath the cliff. Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth… the hammerhead yak _riding_ the hammerhead whale!”

When Hiccup and Zenna looked at him, Erland shook his head. “I can tell you both with complete and total honesty, which, as both of you know, is very rare for me, that most certainly did not happen. _Nothing_ like that _ever_ happened,” he whispered, looking like he was just done with Gobber’s tall tale even after being initially curious about it.

While the rest weren’t buying into it, Fishlegs remained fascinated with Gobber’s story. “Whoa… the whale saluted you?” he asked once Gobber finished telling his tale.

“Can you believe it?” Gobber asked, grinning.

“No. No, I cannot,” Erland sighed, facepalming himself just as Gobber recounted the events that led them to this desolate islet.

“Are you kidding? I don’t believe any of this,” Snotlout grumbled, having had enough of Gobber’s tall tales.

“Yeah, you totally made everything up!” Tuffnut agreed with him. Ruffnut joined her brother with, “Come on, Gobber, it’s time to get out of here!” followed by Snotlout adding, “We need to go home!”

Then Tuffnut said the one thing that was on Hiccup, Astrid, Zenna, and Erland’s minds. “You don’t even have any proof that that thing exists!”

At Tuffnut’s accusation, Gobber stood up. “Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle,” he said, lifting the hem of his tunic, revealing a T-shaped bone adorning his belt.

“It was in the Viking’s treasure chest. It’s kept my pants up for years,” he explained.

“It _is_ stunning,” Fishlegs complimented him.

“Looks more like a bone fragment to me,” Zenna said as Gobber shooed Fishlegs away when the chubby boy tried to get a closer look at his belt buckle.

Erland nudged Astrid then bobbed his head at Hiccup. Getting Erland’s message, Astrid lightly shoved Hiccup forward so he could, hopefully, talk some sense into his mentor.

“Um… listen, Gobber.” Hiccup approached the one-armed, one-legged blacksmith. “Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home?” he suggested.

Gobber looked at his apprentice for a moment then grinned. “Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I’ve got a plan,” he announced.

The teens all breathed sighs of relief. Finally, they were going home!

But their relief was short-lived.

“Alright, who’d like to be dragon bait?”

Fishlegs was the unlucky Viking to be standing right in the center of the group of eight teenagers. Phil, upon seeing who Gobber was looking at, quickly side-trotted away, not wanting to be a part of Gobber’s crazy scheme.

A little while later, Gobber’s plan was put into action.

* * *

“This has got to be the most ridiculous plan I’ve ever participated in…” Zenna muttered.

“Tell me about it…” Hiccup and Erland both mumbled in agreement.

While the trio, Astrid, Snotlout, and the Twins were standing behind Gobber, Fishlegs was standing underneath a giant ribcage that was held suspended by a rope tied to another bone that was propped up by a rock. Phil was next to the bone, chewing his cud.

“Um, Gobber, are you sure this is safe?” asked Fishlegs, who was wearing a disguise consisting of a bigger horned helmet, some yellow rope tied around his face to mimic Gobber’s beard, and a hook. The Ingerman felt his palms grow sweaty. Why oh why did he have to be the Viking who looked the most like Gobber right now?

“Ah, safety’s overrated,” Gobber said then turned to the rest of the team. “Okay, here’s the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it’s me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that ribcage and then _we_ rush in and finish him off once and for all!” he proclaimed.

The seven dragon riders just stared in disbelief.

“It’s sad when they get old…” Snotlout whispered to the Twins.

“Doesn’t this go against our _‘no more killing dragons’_ policy, Gobber?” Zenna questioned.

Hiccup soon lost his patience. “Gobber, you’re taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. Th-there is no such thing as the Boneknapper!” he exclaimed.

“Wormsquat! Now, get into position,” said Gobber, herding the teens behind a pile of stones to wait for the dragon to arrive.

“I’ll tell you what’s wormsquat. Leading us all here on a wild goose chase!” Erland said hotly.

“Way to go, Fishlegs! You’re doing fine!” Gobber yelled encouragingly to the unfortunate Ingerman, ignoring Erland’s comment.

“Gobber, please, we wanna go home!” Zenna hissed and the rest of the riders started complaining.

“No wonder the entire village thinks you’re crazy,” said Hiccup.

“Can anyone here tell me if you believe him?” Zenna asked rhetorically.

“Hello? He sees dead Vikings!” Snotlout answered.

“I don’t believe any of this stuff!” Ruffnut grumbled and Tuffnut said, “Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak…” in agreement.

While the seven dragon riders continued to complain and Gobber kept trying to quiet them down, Fishlegs saw something emerge from the fog behind them. All the hairs on Fishlegs’ body stood on end as he saw the Boneknapper looming over his friends like an armored Angel of Death.

“Um, guys…?” he called out.

“I know, right? No way any of that stuff happened!” Zenna said, agreeing with Tuffnut’s earlier statement.

“I was about to believe him… and then he brought up the yak jumping out of a volcano followed by that ridiculous Thor encounter,” Erland remarked.

“Guys, hello?! Turn around!” Fishlegs yelped, waving to the gang frantically.

“This is a complete waste of time,” Astrid chimed in as the team continued to complain.

“Guys! _GUYS!!!_ ” Fishlegs yelled at the top of his lungs, prompting everyone to shout back, “ _WHAT?!_ ”

That’s when Erland looked over his shoulder and paled. “Oh, shit…” he muttered, while Hiccup deadpanned, “It’s right behind us, isn’t it?”

Gobber and the teens turned around… and there it was.

The Boneknapper in all its boney glory. It was humongous with a coat of rattling bones plated around its grayish-green scales. And, like Gobber said, when it tried to roar at the group, all it could produce was a barely audible squeak.

But Erland managed to catch a few faint words.

**_“Give… it… back…”_ **

****

_‘Give what back?’_ Erland wondered as Fishlegs said, “Huh. Well, what do you know? No roar.”

The Boneknapper couldn’t roar, all right. But that didn’t mean it couldn’t breathe fire!

“RUN!” Gobber yelled and the team broke out into a sprint, headed for Fishlegs.

“Okay, Gobber, we believe you!” Astrid yelled. “Yeah, totally believe you now!” Zenna yelped as they reached Fishlegs.

That’s when Phil dropped the ribcage on them.

_“Phil!” “You Loki in Disguise!”_ Gobber and Snotlout both yelled.

“Hey!” Erland smacked Snotlout upside the head before quickly running to the front of the group as the Boneknapper caught up with them. Raising his hands, he conjured a shield right before the dragon blasted out a plume of flame at them.

“Find a happy place, find a happy place…” Snotlout chanted, covering his eyes.

Erland grunted as the Boneknapper switched tactics and started slamming its massive head against the ribcage and his shield. All the while, he tried to reason with the beast. **_‘We apologize for trespassing. Let us leave in peace and you’ll never have to see us again!’_** he mentally implored the Boneknapper, who let out a rattling squeak.

**_‘Not until that thief returns what’s mine!’_ **

“Someone stole something from this dragon! And it wants it back!” Erland told the team, his arms beginning to shake from exertion as he kept the shield up. He estimated he only had a few minutes left before he wore himself out as his head began to throb the longer he kept the shield up.

“No, no, no, please! Please! He wants my head. I swear he wants my head!” Fishlegs blubbered while the team panicked. But Zenna and Hiccup kept calm, more occupied with keeping an eye on Erland.

“He says to give his missing piece back. But I don’t know what that is…” Erland panted, sweat beading on his forehead.

That’s when Zenna took a closer look at the Boneknapper as it reared its head back. Her one eye widened as she saw the notch in its chest armor. She tapped Hiccup on the shoulder and pointed at the notch. Hiccup followed Zenna’s finger, saw the notch, and figured it out.

“Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I’ll show you!” Gobber egged the Boneknapper on. His tunic lifted a little as he stood against the Boneknapper, giving Hiccup and Zenna an opportunity to see his bone belt buckle.

“It searches for the perfect bone to complete its coat of armor… _The treasure!_ ” Hiccup said in realization.

“Gobber’s belt buckle!” Zenna said, slapping her hand to the right side of her face. The two of them looked at each other and nodded.

They knew just what to do…

“Gobber, _take off your pants!_ ”

Erland was so shocked at the proposal that he dropped the shield at the same time the other riders yelled, “ _No!_ ”

“Guys, he _has to_!” Zenna said firmly while trying to keep herself from visualizing Gobber in his underwear.

Gobber looked confused and opened his mouth to protest. “Wait, listen to me,” Hiccup interrupted while Erland tried to put up another shield.

“Ffffuuucckkk…” Erland wheezed out as his second shield flickered and disappeared. He stumbled back, woozy. Zenna helped steady him, the Fiersome girl murmuring that he did more than enough.

Seeing Erland down for the count and knowing they were in dire straits, Hiccup hastened to explain. “I think Fishlegs was right. The Boneknapper _is_ supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can’t because the bone he needs is _your belt buckle_ ,” he said, gesturing to the belt buckle keeping his mentor’s pants up.

“Gobber, please, you have to give it back,” Astrid pleaded.

But Gobber was stubborn as a yak. He’d risked life and limb to find and keep his treasure safe!

“No way, it’s _mine_!” he managed to say before a bone-covered jaw latched onto his wooden leg.

“He says otherwise…” Erland muttered as Zenna supported him. Gobber paled.

“Uh-oh.”

The Boneknapper pulled Gobber out of the ribcage prison and started shaking him about!

“Give him back his bone!” Hiccup, Zenna, and Erland yelled at him.

“NOOO!” Gobber yelled back.

“GIVE HIM BACK HIS BONE!” Hiccup, Erland, and Zenna yelled even louder as the blacksmith dangled from the Boneknapper’s mouth.

“NOOOOO!” Gobber barely had a second to shout before the Boneknapper tossed him into the air.

“Noooo… oh, alright.”

Admitting defeat, Gobber pulled the bone fragment off and flung it towards the Boneknapper in midair. His aim was spot-on and the bone fragment went right into the empty notch on the dragon’s chest.

The Boneknapper stopped attacking, feeling the missing piece of its armor lock into place. Meanwhile, Gobber landed in a heap among a pile of bones. He got to his feet at the same time the Boneknapper took a deep breath and let out a deafening roar!

“Not exactly flesh-melting…!” Erland yelled, covering his ears.

“But, wow, does it pack a punch!” Zenna shouted over the roar.

When the Boneknapper stopped roaring, it focused its attention on Gobber. And, this time, the blacksmith didn’t have the hammerhead whale, the hammerhead yak, or Thor to save him.

“Gobber!”

Hiccup, Zenna, Erland, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut all watched in horror as the Boneknapper came closer to the old blacksmith.

Gobber sighed. “Alright, you’ve got me. Make it fast,” he said bravely, shutting his eyes and bracing himself for his fiery end.

To the teens’ shock, instead of cooking Gobber with its flame, the Boneknapper started nuzzling him and crooning softly.

“Awww, he likes you,” Erland chuckled, hearing the dragon’s happy and grateful thoughts in his head.

And then Gobber’s pants fell down, revealing his singed white undies.

All eight teens recoiled in disgust.

“That’s gonna give me nightmares,” Hiccup remarked while Erland gagged and started yelling, “Ack! Delete! Delete! Mental image, delete!”

“Oh, my eye doesn’t like this!” Zenna exclaimed dramatically, covering her one eye with both of her hands.

“Well, at least we have a ride home,” Astrid piped up. Everyone, after recovering from the mental scarring, watched Gobber play with the Boneknapper as if the dragon were nothing more than a harmless puppy.

“Aren’t you cute? Yes, you are. Yes, you are!” the blacksmith cooed.

Zenna looked at Hiccup. “After this, Hiccup, I’m never doubting Gobber and his stories ever again,” she said, smiling.

“Same here, Zen,” Hiccup replied and they high-fived.

“Wait a second…” Erland looked back and forth between Gobber and the Boneknapper before putting both hands to his head. “Does that mean…? The whale and the yak… and _Thor_ …?” he muttered, his mind on the verge of exploding, before Hiccup and Zenna both patted him on the back, telling him not to overthink things too much.

Throwing his hands up in the air, Erland sighed. “You know what? Forget it. I’m not even going to try to make sense of all this madness. All I want to do now is just go back to Berk and try to put this whole crazy mess behind me,” he declared as he and the rest of the gang got ready to go home.

* * *

Phil let out a deadpan _“Baaa!”_ as he soared through the skies on the back of the Boneknapper, Gobber and the eight dragon riders shouted and yelled with joy. Erland had communicated with the now placated dragon and said that it was willing to offer them a ride home. And, while the ride was a little bumpy, the teens were having fun.

“You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: “He’s right.” Snotlout smirked, making Fishlegs, Zenna, Erland, and Astrid roll their eyes.

“Sure, Snotlout, whatever you say…” Erland drawled, closing his eyes and enjoying the wind blowing on his face.

“This tailbone is hurting _my_ tailbone!” Tuffnut complained while Ruffnut just snickered.

All the while, the Boneknapper was roaring happily.

“He sure seems happy to have that bone back,” Hiccup laughed as the dragon let loose another roar.

“Well, legend says that the Boneknapper’s roar _is_ its mating call,” Fishlegs informed the group.

“Oh, that’s just a myth!” Gobber said dismissively.

**_“Yoo-hoo! Cutie!”_ **

****

“Oh, my…” Erland murmured as he and Zenna spotted a couple of shapes on the horizon flying towards them.

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that, Gobber,” Zenna chuckled as the roars sounded.

Gobber’s mouth dropped as more Boneknappers arrived. “Uh-oh…” he mumbled while Phil bleated in surprise.

The Boneknapper carrying the nine Vikings roared happily as more joined him on the flight back to Berk.

“I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?” Gobber chuckled.

“Oh, without a doubt,” Erland said while Hiccup and Zenna laughed.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Pretty much everyone on Berk was shocked speechless when four Boneknappers landed on the island.

Stoick, in particular, just stared, open-mouthed, at the Boneknappers while Gobber gloatingly told him of the grand adventure he and the teens just had.

The teens’ dragons instantly hit it off with the Boneknappers. But Toothless, Stryka, and Embla approached their riders and lightly swatted them with their wings.

**_“You went on an adventure?”_** Toothless asked, pouting.

**_“Without us?_** ” Stryka added, sporting an identical pout.

**_“Unbelievable…”_** Embla rumbled, looking away from Erland with an indignant snort.

“To be fair, we had no idea we were going to have that much excitement today,” Erland said in defense.

“Don’t worry you three. The next time an opportunity for adventure presents itself…” Zenna nudged Hiccup, who said, “…we’ll take you guys along.”

That appeased the two Night Furies and the Changewing, and they playfully licked their Riders in thanks.

Needless to say, no matter how crazy Gobber’s stories may be, Hiccup and the gang learned that it was best to believe him.

* * *

**Hope you guys enjoyed this. Let me know if you want “Book of Dragons” or “Gift of the Night Fury” to be adapted in the future!**

**Read and review!**

**-GuardianDragon98**


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